Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Brand Spanking New Year

Well, at least I'm hoping for a spanking New year. I know that my husband is catching on to the idea. We've had a few hopeful discussions lately. However, realistically, we do have a major obstacle-our sweet daughter. Lately, it seems we have precious little time just to talk much less to do anything else! I know that other couples face this issue as well. What I don't know is what seems to work best. I wonder what other creative couples have done to handle this issue?

I am really looking forward to our 9th anniversary in February. I don't know where we will go, but I've been promised some uninterrupted, and hopefully not quiet, time for our anniversary. If we don't have the chance to get to spank before then, I have high hopes that we will have some play time then!

Oh, I do have a disciplinary spanking coming up-probably next week. Now that one, I'm NOT looking forward to. Punishment spanking just plain hurt, usually for days afterward, too.


Friday, December 26, 2008

Holiday Longings

The holidays are great for the most part. It is usually my favorite part of the year. Playing Santa for my daughter is so much fun! Her wish list grows longer each year.

Adults have wish lists as well, and nothing on my list would be in Santa's bag :) But this time of year is also very busy. There isn't much time for adults to play. So, I'm still holding on to my wish list. It will have to taken care of after the holidays. Oh, and my husband has his own wish list that I'm sure I can help with too.

My next spanking is getting closer. I just wonder if it will be a discipline spanking or something more "fun?"

Friday, December 19, 2008

Anticipation

Waiting for a spanking is harder than it seems. Sometimes, when I know I will be getting spanked in a short time, conflicting emotions threaten to burst forth at any moment. Of course, there is the part of anticipation that I enjoy-knowing I am going to be spanked and feel guilt free, at least for a while. But the subtle fear is there as well. Oh, I know my disciplinarian would never cause severe physical harm, but because I am putting myself in her hands (literally), I guess my nervousness centers around loss of control. And yet, that is exactly what I seek. As someone who is used to being in control, I love being able to have someone to take a little of the burden from me.

Now, I'm also really looking forward to the first , more erotic spanking that I will share with my husband. We've had a few discussions, and he seems to be coming around. I certainly hope so. Spanking has so many facets, and I would love to be able experience spanking in several capacities. I can say with absolute certainty, that while dear husband has not yet warmed my bottom, the discipline I've received has already helped our marriage. And he would be the first to agree!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

I've been perusing spanking blogs lately, and I'm really impressed with what is out there. In fact, I'm a little jealous. While nothing much on the spanking front is going on in my world, other people seem to getting just what they need-and more! I'm a couple of weeks away from seeing my disciplinarian, and that spanking will not be something to look forward to.

My dear husband and I have been so busy that I haven't had the time yet to sit down with him and tell him what I really need in our relationship. I keep thinking that we will get the time after the holidays, but I know I'll have to just make the time-it's that important to me. Luckily, I've found several sites and blogs that say much more eloquently than I can how some women feel about spanking in a marriage. I know my husband will be open to what I have to say, but I don't want him to be too uncomfortable. Has anyone else faced this problem? How did it work out?

Monday, December 8, 2008

Well, I've just heard from my disciplinarian again, and she isn't too pleased. For one thing, I was late with a promised email. And I've hit a wall with several other things as well. Looks like it time for session number two as soon as the holidays are over. While just thinking about it makes me nervous, I'm also really glad that someone is holding me accountable for my transgressions, big and small. One day, I hope it will be my husband. I am certainly not going to give up on a D/d relationship. In so many ways, I know my husband would be great as the leader of our household. I've seen a lot of changes in him this past year that seem to be leading him in that direction too. But, for now, I'm glad I have someone to provide discipline when the need arises. Well, I'm glad now, anyway. In the days and hours leading up to my next session, the trepidation will outweigh the guilt for a while, but the end result will be a clean slate, a new start. And each time, I am getting closer to being the person I really want to be.

Getting dear husband on board

So, I'm wondering how I can convince my husband that spanking can be a a very worthwhile part of our relationship. He's a very easy person to talk to, and he knows all about my spanking interests, including my blog. In fact, he is interested in reading it. Hmm, maybe that is a good way to get him on board.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Although I am new to spanking at this point in my life, I actually had my first adult spanking experience in college. Shortly after I transferred to a new university, I met another student who lived in my dorm. We just clicked as friends. From the beginning, I thought she was rather motherly for such a young girl (we were both in our early twenties). What I really admired about her was that she seemed to be so self-confident and goal-oriented. Having grown up in a family with in which disorganization and chaos was the norm, finding someone who seemed so different seemed appealing. Now, just to be clear, this was not a sexual attraction. Guys have always been my thing. But I wanted to be like her. One night, I got up the courage to ask her how she was so organized and did so well in school. She told me about her family life and how her parents were very loving but strict with discipline, especially spanking. My parents weren't spankers at all. She wanted to know if I had ever really had anyone to hold me accountable. Well, that was easy to answer-no! And I certainly hadn't come into the world with a great deal of self-discipline apparently. So, my friend asked me if I would be interested in being held accountable for my poor choices. Of course, my first question was, how? She suggested that we talk about what had happened during each day after dinner. If she felt that I had made a misguided choice or shown poor judgement, , then she would punish me just like her parents did. When it dawned on me what she meant, I was apprehensive at first. But, she was offering something that I knew I needed. And so, I was soon to learn what a real spanking was like.

The next day was a good one for me. I met with my friend, we talked, and then I went back to my room to study. Well, that was my intent anyway. On the way to my room, another friend asked me to go shopping with her. That sounded like a lot more fun than studying for a test. After all, my grade was good in this class, and I knew the material pretty well. So, I went shopping. Of course, I got back too late to study. However, I did well on the test,so no harm, right? Absolutely wrong, according to my friend the next night. She explained that over time, this pattern of behavior could really cause problems. (Is it any surprise that she is a clinical psychiatrist today?!) We were sitting on her bed, and abruptly, she stood up and told me to take my pants off. O.K., now this was getting weird, but strangely, I did it. She sat back down, and told me to lie over her lap. I still don't know why I did it. She let me keep my underwear on, but I was still very embarrassed for, oh, about 30 seconds. She started spanking me, and I was surprised at how much it hurt! I also expected it to be over quickly. No such luck! She was very thorough. But, more than that, after, the spanking, she gave me a lecture like I had never had before. She made it clear that she wouldn't put up with irresponsibility.
Believe me, for once in my life, I thought about the consequences of my actions before making rash decisions. She continued to spank me as needed during the next two years. Without a doubt, her influence made a very positive difference in my life.