Sunday, November 8, 2009

reminders

No, it's not what you think!

I have to keep reminding myself that DD is not an exact science. Sometimes, Bo and I are on the same page with DD, and sometimes we aren't. And then there are those in-between times, like now. For various reasons, DD just isn't happening right now. We've all been sick and slightly cranky (o.k., very cranky!), so I'm getting a pass for being disrespectful. But, this is where DD gets tricky. Although I really have come to dread the actual spanking, I know that it works for us. At times, I want nothing more than to get out of a spanking, but, almost inevitably, those free passes catch up with me!

It's hard to explain to those who aren't wired this way, but getting out of trouble, especially a punishment spanking, can make me feel out of sorts. At first, there is a general sense of relief, but, soon after, I usually end up feeling upset. All sorts of things go through my mind...is Bo tired of DD? Is he fed up with me in general? Does he just not think DD is important to our relationship any more? Eventually, we will have time to talk and sort out these feelings. But these times of waiting are just hard.

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