Friday, March 27, 2009

Emotions

The beginnings of our DD lifestyle have been full of emotions for both my husband and I. Now that it is something that we do more than talk about, the changes are becoming more evident. But, change is hard and usually requires quite a bit of time. As someone who isn't an overly patient person, I have already found myself trying to move three steps ahead on our DD journey. Impatience and frustration are emotions I am well acquainted with. I know I am going to have to work hard at allowing DD to grow in our marriage.

With all this talk of impatience, you would think ambivalence, doubt, and uncertainty would not be emotions that surface often, but I have been surprised at how precarious our DD relationship seems sometimes. When I'm truly angry, I want to resort back to my old way of "handling" things which obviously didn't work well. But I know how to do that; it's safe. And although I brought the idea of this lifestyle to my husband, I still fight the changes. How weird is that?

I haven't really gotten to discuss in detail how Bo feels about DD so far. We talk and even make jokes about it. It has become more comfortable for both of us. But, deep down, I am sure there are many emotions that stir around in Dh's heart and mind as well.

Emotions are at the heart of who we are. For me, the difficult emotions associated with DD, no matter how hard they are to deal with at the time, are so worth it when Bo and I can both truthfully say that we are closer than ever.

1 comment:

honestlymarie said...

I truly understand what you're writing about in this post. It's been a year and half since I brought the idea of dd to my dh and it's still quite an emotional journey. But as you said, the increased closeness makes the hard work worth it. I would never go back and I would hope that my husband would say the same thing...pretty sure he would but there is always that insecure part of myself that jumps out and bites me when I'm feeling down. I hope you and Bo getting closer and closer!
Marie